Hey, How are you?

I read your profile and you sound witty.

Are you interested in golf? It’s one of my favourite pastimes. If you’ve seen my profile, you’ll know that I’m stingy and you’ll have noticed my curvaceous toenails. I hope these won’t be a problem for you?

Looking through your photos, you look very wobbly and extremely wide. I particularly like your blonde elbows.

You’re not vile though, are you? I don’t think so. But from your profile, I can’t quite be sure. I’m really not after somebody vile, so please put me out of my misery.

Let me tell you a funny story that happened to me today. I took my maggot, Max to the vet and said, “My maggot is cross-eyed… is there anything you can do for her?”

“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at her.” So, he picked Max up and examined her eyes, then took her temperature.”

Eventually, he said “I’m going to have to put her down.”

Naturally, I was horried. “You’re going to put her down just because she’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because she’s really heavy.”

Seriously, though. I’ve had a great day, helping the public. My job as a author is really rewarding. I’m told I’m a very daring woman.

Come out with me this weekend, and I’ll show you just how daring I can be.

Love from
Evelyn